This blog post was originally published on Mike’s Travel Blog in April 2023.

Have you ever been to Belgium in fact?” he asked brightly and she nearly hit him.

“I think,” she said, restraining herself, “that you should restrict that sort of remark to something artistic.”

“You sound as if I just said something unspeakably rude.”

“You did.”

In today’s modern Galaxy there is of course very little still held to be unspeakable. Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is seen as evidence of a well-adjusted…personality…But even though words like “joojooflop,” “swut,” and “turlingdrome” are now perfectly acceptable in common usage there is one word that is still beyond the pale. The concept it embodies is so revolting that the publication or broadcast of the word is utterly forbidden in all parts of the Galaxy except for use in serious screenplays. There is also, or was, one planet where they didn’t know what it meant, the stupid turlingdromes.

-Douglas Adams, “Life, the Universe, and Everything” (U.S. Edition)

Apologies, dear readers, but I am going to be using some very obscene language today, because this post is all about the small and often overlooked country of Belgium! Disney World claims to be the happiest place on earth, but I contend that Belgium might just be the real magic kingdom.

In my previous blog post, I described my whirlwind tour of Amsterdam and the nearby village of Zaanse Schans. That was the beginning of a weeklong journey that ended in Paris. The middle part of that journey–and by far the most relaxing part–was Belgium. During the roughly 4 days I spent in Belgium, I visited three different cities: Bruges, Brussels, and Ghent. I will chronicle my adventures in each city one at a time, but first, some general notes about the country and my experience with it:

Belgium is a small, mostly flat country in northern Europe, sandwiched between France, the Netherlands, and Germany. It’s divided into two regions: The Flemish (a dialect of Dutch) speaking north and the French speaking south. (There’s also a very small part of the country that primarily speaks German.) If you know anything at all about Belgian history, it’s probably that Belgium was invaded without provocation by Germany at the start of World War 1, and then again in World War 2. In fact, as a little country whose borders and allegiances have changed many times over the centuries, Belgium/Flanders has often found itself overrun with invaders or been a battleground for religious warfare between Catholics and various sects of Protestants. But don’t feel too bad for Belgium. They also played the part of the bully, in particular with regard to the Belgian Congo, one of the first and most brutal European regimes in central Africa, which paved the way for a nearly total European takeover of the continent. King Leopold II (who I was dismayed to learn still has a monument near the royal palace in Brussels) ordered his men to cut off the hands and feet of children and adults alike in his avarice for profit stemming from the rubber plantations he forced the local population to slave away at. Conditions were so barbaric that even in the extremely racist atmosphere of the 19th century, they sparked an international outcry, with celebrities like Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) joining in the protests and eventually succeeding in having the Congo removed from Leopold’s control (although sadly not returned to independence until many years later). Belgium’s reputation these days is a bit more positive. Belgium hosts the headquarters of the European Union and has been central in fostering peace and cooperation within Europe and in the world.

Belgium has a world class rail system and is one of the easiest countries to travel in without a car. The Thalys express train that took me from Amsterdam to Brussels was fast and comfortable, as was the one that took me from Brussels to Paris later, covering about 270 kilometers (168 miles) in under an hour and a half. Trains run between all the major cities of Belgium about every 10 minutes and you can get from Belgium to Ghent, Bruges, Antwerp, and most other Belgian cities in under an hour. The intercity trains rarely get overcrowded. If all the seats get filled, they simply add another train car. The trains can’t sell out and tickets are very affordable. Hotels, restaurants, and attractions are also pretty affordable. Belgium is a very prosperous country and you’re not going to find the kind of prices here that you would in a developing country, but compared to its more heavily touristed neighbors, Belgium is pretty reasonably priced. The two hotels I stayed at during my time there were both superior to and cheaper than the hotels I stayed at in Amsterdam and Paris. If you want to visit this region of Europe, see a lot in a short time, and get good value for your money, Belgium is an excellent choice of locations to base yourself in.

Belgium has a very calm, quiet vibe, which I appreciated enormously as a break from the intensity of Amsterdam and Paris. Even in places with lots of tourists, like Bruges, I never felt overwhelmed or suffocated, nor did I have to deal with any unsolicited sales pitches like I did in Paris. It was a 100% stress-free experience through and through. With medieval squares, palaces, castles, parks, and canals, Belgium is every bit as beautiful and magical as the Netherlands or France, but so much more chill. For this reason and many others, it was my favorite place that I visited on this trip.

COME FOR THE HISTORY, STAY FOR THE FOOD

It is impossible to talk about Belgium without talking about the food. While traditional Belgian cuisine includes many things that as a vegetarian I will never try, like beef stew, pork stew, rabbit stew–and the kicker: eel stew (they also have a pastry filled with what I can only describe as cream of chicken soup), the Belgians are also arguably the world’s best chocolate-makers and the proud inventors of such wonderous foods as waffles and fries. (The American term “French fries” most likely comes from U.S. soldiers in World War 1 who thought they were in France when they were in fact in Belgium.)

Belgian fries are the original and best kind of fries: thick, crispy (authentic Belgian fries are always fried twice), and delicious. They are served with a variety of delicious condiments, my personal favorite being truffle mayo. Tragically, the traditional method for cooking Belgian fries is to fry them in beef fat–making them unsuitable for vegetarians like me. But thankfully, modern day Belgium is a very vegetarian-friendly place, and there are numerous restaurants and fry stands that serve mouth-watering vegan fries, fried (twice, of course) in vegetable oil instead of lard. You just need to look up which ones to go to or ask how they prepare their fries. Some places have warnings on their menu that they use beef fat, because they know some vegetarians might not be aware.

Belgian fries are truly the fatty starch of the gods. But where do you get your carb fix if it’s early in the morning and there are no fries to be had? Worry not, my friends, because you can scarcely throw a stone in Belgium without hitting a waffle stand or restaurant. To my American audience, you’ve probably eaten “Belgian” waffles in the U.S. plenty of times in your life. Usually they’re round, and a lot thicker than the American-style waffles you’d get at a Waffle House or Denny’s. The waffles I ate in Belgium were similar to these waffles in some ways but different in others. There are two main types of waffles (or gaufres, as they’re called in the French-speaking parts of the country): The Brussels waffle and the Liège (often spelled with two “l”s) waffle. The Brussels waffle is the closest to our familiar Americanized Belgian waffle. It’s light and fluffy, and has straight, unbroken edges. However, Brussels waffles are almost always rectangular in shape, not round. Most Belgians eat their Brussels waffles with just some powdered sugar and maybe a little butter, or sometimes with a dollop of whipped cream and strawberries on top. But you can also get them with decadent chocolate sauce, ice cream, and a whole host of sweet toppings. You can also get a savory Brussels waffle, with a wide range of toppings: from meat or seafood, to cheese, eggs, or vegetables–or some combination of the above. If you can eat it with a fork or a spoon, you can most likely get it on a waffle somewhere in Belgium. The other type of Belgian waffle is the Liège waffle. Unlike it’s more sober sibling, this waffle is cooked with half-melted chunks of pearl sugar in the batter, which caramelize as they cook. These waffles are denser and crispier than the Brussels, and have uneven edges. No-one is putting shrimp or asparagus on these bad boys. They are clearly made to be a sugary treat. I did take a picture of a liege waffle I got at Chez Albert in Bruges, but it was so covered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream that you can’t even make it out. Lastly, I would be remiss not to mention another marvel of Belgian ingenuity: the waffle on a stick. These are sold by street vendors and at stands in plazas all over Belgian cities. They are cooked up in front of you (at least the good ones are), broken into bite-sized squares, skewered on a stick like a kebab, and rolled in your choice of hot toppings before being handed to you to munch on while you do your sightseeing. I got one rolled in white chocolate with chocolate flakes and it was delicious, as were all the waffles I ate in Belgium. There is a highly rated vegan waffle place in Brussels that I really wanted to try, but unfortunately it wasn’t open during the hours I would have been able to go. But for my vegan friends, you can rejoice that there is in fact a vegan waffle place in Belgium, and according to most reviews, it’s excellent!

Below is a picture of a Brussels waffle (with a bite taken out of it–sorry!) I ordered at In Choc in Ghent:

I mentioned chocolate as toppings for waffles, but of course, Belgian chocolate is a phenomenon all by itself. Everywhere I went, there were chocolate shops flaunting their sugary wares in the windows, all of them claiming that they have the best chocolate in the city. I tried a place in Bruges called The Chocolate Line that was recommended by my hotel hosts. The store’s award-winning master chocolatier was there on sight and a small crowd had formed to watch him work behind a plate glass window. I was a little overwhelmed by all the options to choose from in the store, so I just got a piece of white chocolate hazelnut bark and a piece of milk chocolate bark. Both were very good.

Being a tourist can be hard work (there are a shocking amount of tall belfry towers to climb) and there’s no better way to cool off at the end of the day than with a glass of Belgian beer. This is another legendary Belgian tradition, with much of the country’s distinctive beer having been historically (and in many cases, still) brewed by monks in abbeys. While most people might think of pale ale when they think of Belgian beer, the country boasts a number of other longstanding beer traditions, including lambics, red ales, brown ales, strong ales, and stouts. I tried a few different beers in Belgium and all of them were good. My two favorites were both in Brussels: a red ale from Brew Dog in Brussels and a brown ale from the rooftop bar at my Brussels hotel, the Warwick. The best non-alcoholic drinks I had were in Ghent: A passionfruit iced tea from Frites Atelier (which also had the best fries I’ve ever had in my life) and a decadent hot chocolate that I drank with my waffle at In Choc.

With enough money, you could easily live your whole life in Belgium eating waffles, fries, and chocolate, drinking beer, and admiring medieval architecture. It would be a short life, but a happy one. But if you crave variety, there are a plethora of ethnic foods from around the world at your disposal in every major Belgian city, especially in Brussels. Two of my best meals in Brussels were vegan Thai basil noodles at an Asian fusion restaurant (served up sizzling in the cast iron skillet it was cooked in) and a spicy falafel wrap with fries at an unassuming little restaurant located inside a mall near the Central train station. I found these places using the Happy Cow app, which is a great tool for finding vegetarian-friendly restaurants all over the world. I use it every time I visit a new country. There were some actual vegan and vegetarian restaurants near my hotel in Brussels (including the aforementioned Vegan Waffle) but the ones I went to were restaurants that are vegetarian-friendly but also serve meat options. Even more than Brussels, Ghent has a reputation as the most vegetarian-friendly city in Belgium. I highly recommend visiting Ghent for a number of reasons, but especially for vegetarians and vegans.

Now that I’ve whetted your appetite, let’s take a look at the different cities I visited in this delicious country.

BRUGES

Of the three cities I visited in Belgium, Bruges was both the smallest and the most popular with tourists. The movie, “In Bruges” let the word out about this stunning medieval city that contains one of the most well preserved/restored historic districts in all of Europe. Some detractors have called it fake, comparing it to Disney World, because a lot of the buildings are not original. But these critics betray an ignorance of how historical areas work. Anyone who knows anything about historic sites knows that no city that is continuously lived in for 1,000 years is going to retain all of its original buildings exactly as they were, brick for brick. The entire district is a UNESCO World Heritage site and it has been by and large faithfully maintained/restored following the original medieval design. It’s the closest thing to a time machine you’re going to find in Belgium or most other places. I can’t overstate just how beautiful, charming, and full of character Bruges is. It really is like walking into the pages of a fairy tale.

I only stayed in Bruges for one night and I regretted not staying longer the second I saw my room at the Saint-Sauveur B&B, a historic building in its own right, constructed in the 1600s. All of the hotels I stayed at on this trip were centrally located, but none more than this one. My room had a direct close-up view of the beautiful St. Salvator’s Cathedral (Sint-Salvatorskathedraal). The original version of the church was built in the 900s, and the current building dates back to 1250. It is one of the few 13th century buildings to have survived intact and includes an intact section that goes all the way back to the 11th century. My room was unbelievably elegant for the roughly $150 I paid to rent it for the night. I paid more than that for a room in Paris with no windows, an ugly stained carpet and not much else. But at Saint-Sauveur, with a fireplace, a chandelier, a queen sized bed, and a leather armchair, I felt like royalty. The bathroom was like a Russian nesting doll: first you walk into a room with an antique claw foot bathtub. Then there is a door to another room with a sink and a modern shower. From this second room, there is a door to a tiny third room that only contains a toilet. The B&B also had a nice patio in the back and the breakfast was good as well. The host was very nice and let me leave my luggage after I checked out the next morning so I could extend my time in Bruges.

The first place I visited after checking into my hotel was of course the cathedral that was staring me in the face. The interior was absolutely gorgeous. The pictures below don’t do it justice. I’ve been to many famous churches around the world, including St. Peter’s in Rome, Il Duomo in Florence, St. Marks in Venice, and now Sainte Chappelle and Sacre Coeur in Paris (and Notre Dame from the outside) and this comparably obscure cathedral is one of the most beautiful churches I’ve ever set foot in. I was surprised to find a church so spectacular in a relatively small city like Bruges. The stained glass windows were so bright and colorful. The star designs of the vaulted ceilings over the altar and the transepts were really elegant without being gaudy. The designs painted on the columns were also quite nice. I’m not saying that St. Salvator’s architects and craftsmen were on the same level as Michelangelo, who designed some of the churches I name-checked earlier, nor that the level of detail and grandeur is at all comparable. But purely on a subjective level, this church made it onto my Top 10 list.

After leaving the cathedral, I took a canal tour of Bruges. The first boat I was in line for reached capacity, so they brought in a second one. I lucked out because this second boat was their luxury model that normally would cost more to ride on. So I got to tour the city in comfort and style for the price of a more basic boat. Bruges was perhaps even more beautiful from the water than it was on foot. Our guide pointed out a ton of historical sights, including the 12th century Hospital of St. John (Oud Sint-Janshospitaal), which I later got to see up close from the street. After the tour, I checked out some nearby scenic spots such as the Quay of the Rosary and the Bonifacius Bridge, before heading over to the central Market Square, which is flanked by jaw-dropping historic gothic buildings on all sides, including the castle-like City Hall. Almost everything in the square served as a museum of some kind, but it was evening now so I ate some Belgian fries and drank some Belgian beer and then slowly made my way back to my hotel.

The next morning, after checking out from the B&B, I climbed 366 steep steps to the top of the historic Belfry tower that dominates Market Square. The climb was grueling, but there were breaks along the way where I could exit the staircase and see a small exhibit with a historic artifact. Close to the top, I got to see the gears that make the belfry’s clock work, and it was really cool to watch them spin and whir when the clock struck the hour. At the top, I had an unparalleled view of the city from every direction. I could see the entire historic city center and even some of the modern part of Bruges that lay beyond. It was definitely worth the effort, although my feet would strongly disagree.

After climbing the belfry, I rewarded myself to a chocolate-covered waffle and checked out the farmers market in the square. Then I made my way to the the Basilica of the Holy Blood (Basiliek van het Helig Bloed), which houses a piece of cloth said to be soaked in the blood of Jesus. However, I only viewed the free part of the church and did not pay the fee to see the holy relic. Instead, I continued on to a different church to see another artifact with a provenance that is not in doubt. The Church of Our Lady of Bruges features one of the very few sculptures carved by Michelangelo to ever leave Italy: The Madonna of Bruges. The church also contains the elaborate sarcophagus of Princess Mary of Burgundy and that of her son, as well as a recently discovered 14th century painted burial vault that was excavated in 2021.The church itself is also very beautiful and shares a lot of similarity with St. Salvator (but still not quite as pretty in my book).

I saw a lot of other very interesting things on my walks in Bruges, but I’m going to wrap up this chapter of my trip and move on to my next destination, the capital city of Brussels.

BRUSSELS

The city of Brussels is a lot of things: the capital of Belgium, the host site of the European Union and the European Economic Community, an international hub for business, diplomacy, and scholarly research, and the central link of a high speed rail network that connects the UK, France, Germany, and the Netherlands. Some bloggers and internet commentators have also called Brussels something else: boring. Their advice: Skip Brussels; there’s nothing worth seeing there. I am so glad I didn’t listen to those people! In my opinion, Brussels is not boring at all. It’s filled with historic sites, stately palaces and gardens, beautiful parks, world class museums, great food, and vibrant city life. If Bruges can sometimes feel like you’re inside a snow globe or a model of a perfect medieval town, Brussels feels like a living, breathing, city, inhabited by real people who are living their lives. And it’s a really nice city: clean, well maintained, and with lots of space to breathe. Brussels doesn’t have the extreme nightlife of Amsterdam or Paris but there’s something for everyone here, and if you want to live it up in some wild nightclub, well, they have those too. But they also have lots of large public squares and quiet green spaces. There are not a lot of tourists here, at least compared to the other places on my trip. That in and of itself makes Brussels worth visiting.

My hotel in Brussels lacked the historic charm and character of Saint-Sauveur and I did miss it. Nonetheless, it was a very nice place in its own way. A large, modern building, a few blocks from the Central train station and the historic center of Brussels, the Warwick could be compared to a moderately upscale hotel in the U.S. like a Hilton. Everything was very new and cosmopolitan and there were multiple elevators waiting to transport me to my floor. The hotel had its own restaurant and a rooftop bar with a great view of the city. The king size bed was the most comfortable one I slept on during my whole trip, although none of the beds I slept on were particularly uncomfortable. It was definitely more affordable than an equivalent quality hotel would be in the U.S., and certainly in Paris. In both this case and in Bruges, I didn’t seek out luxury when booking hotels. I was just looking for affordable hotels that were centrally located and had good reviews, and in both Bruges and Brussels I got more than I expected. As I stated earlier, Belgium is a bargain, by northern Europe standards.

After checking in to my hotel and eating a delicious Thai meal a few blocks away, I wandered over to the the nearby Grand Place (Plaza) which took my breath away. Where Market Square in Bruges wowed me with its historic nature and the unique details of its gothic architecture, Grand Place awed me with the elegant grandeur of its buildings. I also visited the Cathedral of St. Michael and St. Gudula–a large and impressive church with the foundations of an ancient Romanesque church in the basement. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to explore more than that on the first night because I was taking a day trip to Ghent the next morning, but the following afternoon/evening I was back in Brussels again and this time did a lot more walking. I saw the royal palace and the government buildings, the elaborately landscaped gardens, the historic academies, and a large park filled with sculptures, fountains, and pavilions. In one corner of the park, a band was playing acoustic music for a small, intimate audience. I already mentioned the places I went for food and drinks, so I won’t repeat them here, but all in all I had a very enjoyable and relaxing time in Brussels. It’s a city I could imagine happily living in for a few years while I took classes or did some kind of fellowship. It’s a lovely and underrated city.

GHENT

The last city I visited in Belgium was Ghent. Bigger and less touristy than Bruges, Ghent is also a medieval city full of historic churches, quaint canals, and a tall belfry with way too many stairs. But Ghent also has some things that Bruges doesn’t: a graffiti alley, a local market district (Korenmarket), an extensive tram system, and most notably, a massive and very real medieval castle with a dark but fascinating history.

The day I visited Ghent was the only day it rained during my entire trip. Pretty remarkable for the region I was visiting and the time of year. But on that day, it rained ALL day long, pretty much never stopping. That was OK though. I had my water-repellant windbreaker and I planned to spend more time indoors than on the previous days anyway. And moreover, the foreboding dark clouds and the steady patter of rain felt appropriate as I stepped off my tram and looked up at the grim battlements of Gravensteen Castle. Built in the year 1180 on the site of an older castle that burned down, this hulking stone structure with its sizable moat and imposing towers was the residence of the Counts of Flanders and a place of terror for their enemies, who for hundreds of years were taken here for imprisonment, torture, and execution. There’s a self-guided audio tour that tells the history of each part of the castle and features a lot of dark humor. To be honest, I think the people running this castle lean into the more gruesome aspects of its history a little too eagerly. It’s a little disturbing. The castle is fascinating and so are the stories that come with it. With all the political and religious conflicts that took place in Ghent over the years, often the same people who were persecuting others in this castle soon found themselves on the rack or the chopping block as regimes changed back and forth. There aren’t a whole lot of loose artifacts in the castle, but there is an impressive collection of weapons, including the biggest sword I’ve ever seen, and a cool looking crossbow. The top of the castle affords you a great view of the city, and for that I was very grateful, because my feet and knees were in no mood to climb another nearly 400 step belfry for the 2nd day in a row. One amusing sight on the tour was the (historic) toilets, which were located on the perimeter wall and were basically chutes that would transport the royal family’s leavings directly to the street below. There are two holes right next to each other so you and your bathroom buddy can have a nice conversation about all the torturing you’ve been up to while you relieve yourself. There are signs above the toilets warning visitors not to use them. I hope that wasn’t a lesson learned the hard way.

After touring the castle, I walked around downtown Ghent exploring the other historic sites, of which there were many. These included St. Michael’s Bridge, the Ghent Belfry, Town Hall, St. Nicholas Church and St. Bavo’s Cathedral. The last two I went inside. Both churches were gorgeous and unique, with St. Bavo’s being the bigger and more grand of the two. It bears some similarity to the cathedral in Bruges, notably the patterns and colors of the floor. St. Bavo’s is also famous for something else: It is home to Flemish Renaissance artist Jan Van Eyck’s famous Ghent Altarpiece – The Adoration of the Lamb. You have to pay to see it though and wait in a long line, and I had already seen a lot that day. I knew I would see a lot of famous Renaissance art at the Louvre in a few days, so I decided to skip the altarpiece. If you’re curious, this is what it looks like (click on the link).

All in all, it’s hard to pick a favorite city out of the three I visited. Bruges is perhaps the most beautiful and easiest to explore. Brussels is a capital city and I felt like I got to experience the “real” Belgium there–and I liked it. And Ghent is a very cool medieval city that also has a hip modern side and has less tourists then Bruges. I wouldn’t mind living there for a summer…or maybe longer. I enjoyed all three cities and I’m glad I got to visit all three. What I can say with some confidence is that Belgium was the most consistently enjoyable country that I visited on my trip–and probably precisely because it’s kind of off the beaten track compared to my other stops. Amsterdam was very cool, but it was a bit crowded and chaotic. Paris is astounding, and there is no place like it on Earth. But it’s also overwhelming and very over-touristed. Belgium just matched my vibe better than anywhere else on this trip. Even if it is the most offensive word in the entire galaxy.

Check back in a few days for the last installment of my trip–the city where art and revolution are one and the same, where the past and present come together–the incomparable Paris!